Monday, July 7, 2008

When the going gets tough..............













































Well things around here have been pretty challenging for me specifically and the family indirectly. You probably remember my mention of my left-hand numbness and pending MRI of my neck. Well in the last 3 weeks that MRI has been repeated with contrast, which brought about a consult with a neurologist, an MRI of my brain, and a spinal tap. As you may have figured out all of that brought with it a great deal of anxiety on my part with the what-if's and potential diagnoses. I wish I could spare you all and just tell you the answer but you will have to wait right alongside me. The working broad-spectrum, if you will, are 2 potential pathways, one being a diagnosis of an MS-like sydrome (multiple sclerosis) or something else called a viral transmyelitis. Now in general the latter of these 2 would be the preferable diagnosis with regard to the longterm picture. My neurologist has made me promise that I will not pursue info with regard to either of these until we have more info. The additional testing I mentioned earlier will provide the info needed to isolate out what is causing my symptoms and guide my future therapy. I would appreciate all your prayers as my family and I try to stay calm and remember who is in charge as this process unfolds.
This whole process has been just that, a long and drawn-out process of one test followed by waiting, uncertainty, a little info, anxiety, and then it starts all over again. Fortunately I have been connected with a great neurologist whom I love and have been very pleased with. As I write this, I am hope still trying to recover from my spinal tap, which is supposed to be a straight-forward inconvenience that people have everyday. That is unless you are the one having it. Now as nurse I can't tell you how many of these I have assisted with over the years but it is another issue entirely when it's your back the needle it going into. For that matter, enduring these last few weeks has taught me a lot about what it's like to be on the other side of the medical treatment. The Lord has certainly placed a few key people in my path who have been great but overall I have been disappointed in the very system that I pride myself on being a part of. It sure puts things into perspective but I could spend all day telling you about my newfound "perspective". Anyway I have encountered a complication of my spinal tap called a spinal headache which is when the hole poked into my spine through which to obtain the spinal fluid for testing doesn't immediately seal up and there is a slow leak of fluid. This is the very fluid that surrounds your brain and cushions it while you go about your everyday activities. Well you sure don't know what you've got until it's gone. While the body is constantly making more, it can't keep up and when you get into an upright position there is an unusual pressure placed on the blood vessels and nerves in your head thus creating the 'spinal headache'. This is eased greatly by just laying flat which may seem like a simple solution until you try to live your life flat on your back. For those of you that know what my day-to-day operations are like or can imagine, you know how challenging this is for me. Lest you think it's just a matter of getting on with things and overcoming a little headache, let me tell you this is an incapacitating headache like I've never known. Along with it you get some other fun side effects like nausea, dizziness, etc. So back to bed I go!








I keep reminding myself this too shall pass but my it's hard to see the big picture at times. Please remember me in your prayers that this will soon be behind me. I have 3 precious children and a sweet husband that I would like to take care of in the ways I am accustomed. In addition there is still the anxiety related to the ultimate diagnosis which we hope to have an answer to late this week, early next week. That too is always in the back of my mind!!








Here are some pics of what we've been up to around my medical journey as we try to make the summer as fun as possible for the kids while this unfolds.

1 comment:

Cowboymom said...

I am thinking and praying for you and your family each day! Please continue to be positive! You are a fighter. Also, make sure you live each day to the fullest. My family has learned this throughout my mom's battle with cancer. I love you! Kara

PS. My mom's favorite quote throughout all of her cancer treatments "This too shall pass." I am firm believer in this quote and want to share it with you!